Reset.

So you may have noticed a sponsored post or two around these parts lately.

Like Heather, I vowed I’d never write a sponsored post.

Like you, I skip past most sponsored posts in my reader.

So why have I written some sponsored posts?

It’s not because I feel entitled to get paid for the time I spend writing on this blog–I would keep doing it even if I wasn’t getting paid for it.

Getting paid to do something I enjoy is fun, and extra money’s always nice. That’s the long and short of it.

But that’s obviously not why I started this blog. I started it to document my weight loss and to talk about the things I couldn’t stop thinking about–health and nutrition. I’m not saying that I’m going to completely stop sponsored posts, but they will be less frequent. (As Heather and others have blogged, you apply for these posts often months before they run, and you have no idea which ones you will be picked for…so inevitably, they all come up around the same time.)

I do promise to be pickier about any paid opportunities, and I’ve already cut back on accepting free product. I really enjoy blogger events–especially trying new fitness classes–so I’m not cutting back on those, though.

201203122143 Reset.

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So consider this a reset and for me to get back to my blogging roots–being real about weight loss, fitness, running, and my love for wine. And thanks for sticking around.

Can I also get a reset on the rest of my life?

Work continues to go well, but involves long hours.

I’ve committed myself to an awful lot for the rest of the year: a half-marathon this weekend, moving next weekend, another half-marathon in April, a relay race and a trip to OBX in May, a 10K and triathlon in June, a wedding in San Francisco in September, two weddings in D.C. in October and a marathon (also in D.C., also in October. Who wants an October roomie??)

All fun stuff, all stuff I’ve chosen to do, but still a little overwhelming. Thinking about all that is also forcing me to hit reset in some other areas so I can afford all that and so I don’t go completely crazy. I loved Carla’s post this morning about having it all. I can choose what my all is, and I want to choose things that make me happy. Having a full social and race calendar absolutely make me happy, but being a good dog owner and just being good to myself make me happy, too.

Which brings me to reset #3.

I’m the most unhappy about my body that I have been since I reached my goal weight two years ago. I haven’t gained more than 3-4 pounds, but good lord, it’s all in my stomach, and the rest of me just feels flabby.

I hate it. I ran home from work again tonight, and I went to put on a pair of shorts I’d absentmindedly grabbed from my drawer without looking or trying them on. They. looked. horrible. Paired with a tighter tank top, they showed off every single bump and roll. I looked in the mirror and felt miserable, and couldn’t imagine running home–outside, in public–in them. I searched my gym bag to see if I had anything else, and finally decided to just run home in the cotton leggings I’d worn under my dress today. I wasn’t going to not run because I felt fat. That wouldn’t help anything.

My stomach has been blissfully peaceful for the past few months, but I’ve also eased up some on the vegetables. For my stupid stomach, it’s a real fine line between a good amount of vegetables and too much. The lack of vegetables, in turn, has made me feel less full, and so, I think my portion sizes have slowly been creeping back to the larger side. A reminder that I will struggle with maintaining my weight for the rest of my life.

But I will never give up.

IMG 1240 Reset.

Tonight, I contemplated warming up a turkey burger and putting it over some whole wheat pasta with pesto and calling it a night, like I’ve been doing lately, but thinking about this lack of veggies, unhappiness with my flabby stomach and the need to clean up my fridge before I move? I made these frozen veggies I got at Whole Foods a few weeks ago for a night like this.

IMG 1242 Reset.

Served with the warmed up turkey burger. Filling and green.

Rinse, repeat.

As for the weight training I know I need to do to tone back up? The jury’s still out on that one. I know I need to find something I can consistently stick with, though, that won’t leave me too sore to run.

Good lord, this was an intense post. If you’ve made it to the end…congratulations. Puppies and sunshine will return tomorrow.

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34 comments on “Reset.

  1. Elle

    Good for you for having a little heart to heart with yourself! And for coming up with a solution you are happy with.

    I am thinking about possible workouts that will not interfere with your running. I am training for my first half and running 3 times a week… long runs on Saturdays.

    I was gaining a bit of weight so I added protein to my meals and I am doing 3 days of strength training now, mostly upper body and core, but some squats and lunges. And I just started loving stretching and standing yoga poses. I can already feel and see results in my muscles.

    Good luck with your RESET!
    Elle recently posted..The Fit Executive… Review and e-book Giveaway

    Reply
  2. Katie @ Talk Less, Say More

    Your honesty and self awareness is amazing! We all can’t be perfect all the time, but when we feel off, we do something about it and we start making those little changes and honestly, that’s what counts. Whether that be work, our diet or exercise plan or the way we live. Good for you! :)
    Katie @ Talk Less, Say More recently posted..Music Monday // Norah Jones

    Reply
  3. Linda

    I don’t mind your sponsored reviews, a long as your opinions are honest, but it does interrupt the natural flow of your blog when there’s too many of them bunched together.

    Aack, I’m so sorry you’re having a feeling fat day. I’m sure once you’ve figured out how to fit working out into your new work schedule, you’ll feel better and feel less fat. Can you work out during the day (during your lunch hour)? I always envy people who do that. I don’t know if I could swing it regularly, but there is an Equinox location 3 blocks from my office, so I could try to fit something in. I just don’t know how I would have time to shower, too, and then I’d still have to find some time to eat lunch.

    Reply
    1. Liza

      @Linda:
      Normally they don’t shower. I have seen women do this on their lunch hour. They throw their hair into a bun and put on some fresh deodorant and swipe on some makeup. Kinda gross.

      Reply
  4. Ricole Runs

    I Love puppies and sunshine! I spent the summer in Singapore where they don’t really eat many vegetables, and I easily gained 5 pounds that I am still trying to get off. It’s my carb weight from eating all that rice. We will both get it off!

    Reply
  5. Caitlin

    I FEEL you lady – I’ve got a lot on my plate, and my mind, and this in turn leads to less conscious eating. This week I’ve committed to super clean eating and hope that at least that will put my mind at ease a bit – especially when looking in the mirror.
    Caitlin recently posted..Race Week

    Reply
  6. Shauna @ Pleasure, Not Punishment

    Hey Lady,

    Thank you for sharing your candid thoughts and frustrations. I recently wrote a similar post. You *can* reset and it’s important to recognize that each time you reset, you bring valuable experience with you to the next faze. Kill your half this weekend!
    Shauna @ Pleasure, Not Punishment recently posted..Weight

    Reply
  7. Miz

    wow
    totally surprised by the linklove so THANK YOU.
    and man I get this post as well.
    blogging is all a process (as is life) and more than once Ive hit that reset button, too.
    and simultaneously hoped readers understood and didnt care if they did or not.
    I needed to
    for me.
    Miz recently posted..We cannot have it all.

    Reply
  8. Stacie

    I’m struggling with the “weights, but what?” problem right now, too. I really like Body Pump, but I’ve had a tight IT band and my first half marathon in a few days. The lunges/squats make it just a little too much for my legs right now if I want to have a good run the next day or two. I’ll likely go back to it as soon as the race is over, but it’s a tough balance!
    Stacie recently posted..Weekend Update: Countdown to the Half! Edition

    Reply
  9. barbara_daisy

    same with me!!
    my stomach doesn’t like veggies like broccoli or cauliflower anymore, same goes for lentils, beans and even quinoa sometimes :-( so my digestive tract is seriously boycotting my dieting plans … i (re)gained a few pounds over the last year, but I can’t go back to eating salads and stirfry all the time because of my sensitive stomach …

    I’ll keep reading your blog religously, perhaps you come up with a solution :-)

    good luck, you’re awesome!

    Reply
  10. Amanda - RunToTheFinish

    i agree i have started to turn down a lot of offers and though I am doing some sponsored posts a lot that makes other healthy opportunities possible so I can share more.

    man do i understand the feel fat thing. i am so hoping that once this estrogen thing is resolved all of my hard work will actually be more visible
    Amanda – RunToTheFinish recently posted..Male Massage Therapist?

    Reply
  11. Lindsay

    Thanks for bringing up the sponsored posts thing. I’ve been noticing a TON of sponsored posts on other blogs recently, many of which are about the exact same product(s), and like you I usually skip through. In all honesty, it’s made me want to find new blogs to follow that DON’T do that. But I love your blog and appreciate that you’ll be cutting back on these sponsored posts.

    Reply
    1. Theodora Post author

      I agree–I wish companies would stagger them more, although, I do understand the impact from a marketing perspective.

      Reply
  12. Kate

    I’m glad you’re stopping the sponsored posts. I used to love this blog but the endless reviews and product placements were so, so boring. I stopped reading it so much, but might pop back now!

    Reply
    1. Theodora Post author

      Not yet–I should. I’m trying to figure out a long-term strength sort of thing for myself that I can stick with and see results.

      Reply
  13. Kate @ ibrokemyumbrella

    I can’t tell you how much I appreciate an honest post. You honestly never seemed that overwhelming with the sponsored posts, but I’m glad to see you happy about getting back to your roots. Don’t beat yourself up too much about letting your eating slide. You can only be so focused.

    Good luck in DC this weekend!!
    Kate @ ibrokemyumbrella recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday: NYC

    Reply
  14. Freddie

    The struggle with weight loss comes from maintaining it off and not from losing it. I think you being honest and catching it is the best thing you can do. And you have already made changes to your environment which shows you have determination. Keep up the good work and this is why I read your blog for the fact that there is nothing but real women behind the words you type. :)

    Reply
  15. Meg Roberts

    Fresh on the ground from SXSW, my head is swimming with ideas surrounding the relationships between brands and bloggers, bloggers and readers, and consumers and brands.

    I’m taking off my marketer/PR hat and writing this comment as a reader. To be honest, I enjoy reviews and testimonials from my favorite bloggers so long as it is honest and any sort of remuneration is disclosed. These types of posts are how I have discovered some of my favorite products: Zensah recovery socks, Larabars, nuun, Siguoi running tights, the list goes on and on.

    I appreciate that many bloggers include pros/cons list so that it shows it’s not just a glowing, shiny review simply because the blogger is being compensated in some way.

    Also, I haven’t even noticed that you’ve been writing more sponsored posts lately. I usually just take in the disclosure with a grain of salt and get carried away in the actual content of the post. Your sponsored articles don’t really read like advertorials so they don’t bother me and, as I mentioned, you do a nice job of telling what you like and dislike about different products, services, and classes.
    Meg Roberts recently posted..How to Win Friends and Influence People [at SXSW]

    Reply
  16. Kristine @ Running On Hungry

    I really love your honesty (and I’ll be honest – I’m happy you’re cutting down on the sponsored posts! They take away from the great posts on your blog!) :)

    The Pilates Studio I LOVE in SF just opened an NYC location – Pilates ProWorks… you should definitely try it out. It’s Pilates with a twist – there’s a bit of cardio mixed in, and the reformer is a bit different… there’s an added piece to it that makes the workouts less “dance-y” (I have no coordination, hence why I run), and more athletic focused. I did it twice a week while marathon training last fall, and have upped to 3-4 a week and have seen a really big difference in terms of tone all over. It’s also not too much on the legs to do while you’re training. Win Win :)

    When you’re in SF in the fall, if you need a running buddy (or a Pilates buddy!) let me know! Would love to run with you!
    Kristine @ Running On Hungry recently posted..Back To Life, Back To Reality

    Reply

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