So Long, Summer

For most of 2017, I had a hard time making any kind of travel plans. What if something happened to my mom? That fear was always in the back of my head, every single time I got on a train or a plane to somewhere that wasn’t Franklin Lakes, NJ or Manhattan.

I made so many contingency plans: if “it” (the “it” obviously being her passing that we couldn’t put into words for fear saying the words would make it true) happened when I was away, I’d obviously come back right away. After going to Australia the week after a big emergency surgery she had, I was afraid to book any new travel and anything I did book, I bought travel insurance for and knew there was a chance I might not go.

Hook Windmill

But when she did pass away on July 8, I knew I wanted to get away. Once it became apparent this spring that she might not make it through the year, I started telling friends I just couldn’t wait to get away after. To get on a plane and go somewhere different than where I’d spent the past 9 months worrying about her.

A number of my friends have moved to LA recently, and so LA became my destination. I had this weekend, Labor Day, booked in the Hamptons since earlier this year (and have done the same for the past 4 Labor Days), and I ran into friends at the Junior League that said they were going to East Hampton in early August, did I want to come? I would have taken any plane, train or automobile to be in some sort of new surroundings and I spent as much of August away as I could. 

Griffith Observatory

The past few weeks have become a new level of hard as the shock wears off and shifts into accepting the cold, stark reality of my new life without my best friend, my mom, but I’m proud of how I salvaged the summer.

I wrote on Instagram how the end of summer is always sad to me (Team Summer ALL THE WAY here), but obviously the end of this summer is bittersweet as I close this, the most difficult season of my life, and enter a new season and encounter even more “firsts” with the holidays coming up and as I attempt not to play the “this time last year/2 years ago/10 years ago, my mom and I were ____” game.

 Amagansett

For that reason, I want summer to end as much as I don’t. This summer was so painful and sad, but also beautiful. Every day/week/month/season that goes by makes me feel that much more disconnected from our time together, and I’m hanging on to time, as I’ve learned how precious every single second is.

Things I’m Loving Friday

Runyon Canyon

Happy Friday!

I am so happy to be on my couch right now.  After flying back on a redeye on Sunday night, I don’t know if my body ever totally adjusted this week, and I’m super happy to chill the eff out tonight.

I got a HOT TIP from a friend this morning that there were skirts in the Lululemon “We Made Too Much” section on their website, otherwise known as one of my favorite corners of the internet. I try to not buy too much workout gear…but skirts are my fave thing to run in, so happy Friday to me.

Llama making

You know you have an A+ best friend when you’re having a shit day and she shows up with a llama-making craft kit. It’s hard not to smile when you’re making llamas.

I just really like Mrs. Meyers’ products? The rosemary hand soap brings me odd amounts of joy.

OK, this feel super out-there, but when I was in LA last week, my friend Shelley asked if I wanted to stop at “a crystal store.” I’d just finished reading a book that talked extensively about the after-life and spirituality and lots of hippy-dippy shit, so I thought “why not?” LA people, we went to House of Intuition, which sells crystals and incense and stuff. I found out today that there’s also a crystal store right by my office. Yup, my mom died and I went off my rocker. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ In all seriousness, I’m not sure what I believe in this regard, and I have a lot more reading to do, but at a minimum, they are pretty stones and are comforting.

I thought I blogged about this but can’t find it? I recently read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and really enjoyed it. I’m now reading Fitness Junkie, a satire of the fitness/wellness scene. (The irony is not lost on the girl who wrote about crystals in the previous paragraph on this fitness blog.)

I’m aiming to start cooking more, and these foil packet dinners on self.com look AMAZING and so easy.

Y tu? What’s piquing your interest on the internets as of late?