Categories: Foodregular

Is It Ever Okay to Tell Someone They’ve Gained Weight?

Last night, as I sat getting my nails done, I overheard the owner of the salon telling a customer she looked like she’d gained some weight since the last time she came in.

My head immediately swiveled to see what kind of reaction the woman would have. Remarkably, she was pretty cool about it.

“Yeah, I’ve put on about 7-8 pounds since April. I haven’t been to the gym at all.”

Hearing this conversation brought a multitude of feelings on.

Remembering when I used to be able to say I hadn’t been to the gym in that long. (It was never said proudly, but admitted, sheepishly.)

Remembering once when I went in to my college nail salon after graduation and the owner told me I’d gained weight. I certainly didn’t handle it as well as that woman. My face turned bright red as I admitted that yes, yes I had gained weight since college. Mortified, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, grabbed my friend and got the hell out of there.

No way was I paying someone–someone who I was paying to make me look (and therefore feel) better–to call me fat.

Other than that terrible nail lady (and why is it always nail ladies?), the other person who told me I’d gained weight was my gynecologist in D.C.

At the time, I was furious. Who the hell is she? I thought. This is something my primary care doctor should be telling me. She should just be checking out my lady parts! Now, of course, I know that excess weight can affect any and all systems in your body and she was well within her means to say something, but at the time, I was pissed.

The last person who told me I gained weight was my mom.

“If I don’t tell you, nobody else will.” Uh, no, Mom, the mean nail lady and gyno did. When my mom told me, of course, I wasn’t a fan, either, but I was okay with her telling me because I knew she cared and was looking out for my best interests. Ultimately, though, it had to be me. It had to be me that had reached that moment, where I wasn’t going to live with being unhappy with myself any longer.

So, who would you be okay with telling you you’ve gained weight, and why? Who wouldn’t you be okay with telling you? If you’ve lost weight before, did someone telling you have any effect or did you reach that moment on your own when you knew you needed to change?

For me, I think it’d be my mom and the future man of my life. And a doctor.

Here’s what some of you had to say, but I’d love to hear what the rest of you think:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/kimretta/status/101125256487510016″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/karathon/status/101127218255761408″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/MeLess50/status/101125060009537536″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/heylaney/status/101124327155580929″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/melissaruns/status/101127880888684544″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/kl_scott/status/101128702636736512″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/MelissaLike2Eat/status/101132298224795648″]

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/lindsaykap/status/101127424770719744″]

On a lighter note…

Here are my nails! (I’m sorry. Showing my runners’ feet, even if they’re all pedicured, is probably still crossing the line, huh?)

Oh, what’s that? You want to know why I got my nails done?

Oh, I’m starting an awesome new freelance gig today. (On-site, although even if I were working at home for them, I probably still would have gotten my nails done to celebrate :))

Theodora Blanchfield

View Comments

  • I told a really close friend once, but only after she asked me if I thought she'd gained weight. She may have been looking for me to say no, but she had actually gained a substantial amount, and I felt as her true, close friend, it would be better to be honest. I still sometimes wonder if I did the right thing!

  • Ohh this is a hard one. I honestly think I'd be hurt if anyone but my doctor told me that! :( When I was heavier, I knew it. I wasn't fitting into my clothes and I hated every picture of myself. When I had to go buy new jeans I knew that something had to give. (Other then my waistband.)

  • I think being told that is always going to be hard. Maybe that lady in the nail salon already knew it and that was a final straw of motivation. It just sucks that a lot of us need to figure out on our own, but when we do it's sometimes gone way too far. It's a tough and sensitive subject for sure! Right now I am pretty much only ok with my trainer telling me that!

  • Congrats on the freelance job! Can't wait to hear about it.

    And I wish my friends and mom spoke up when I gained weight in college... But I would have been upset if anyone else said anything.

  • Congrats on the new gig and good luck!! Do you happen to remember What color polish you used on your nails?!

  • I've told friends - good friends - they have told me, with my besties, it's ok. I once had a ski store employee tell me I was big and needed mens ski's - that was killer, and you know what because of that he lost a good customer!

  • I gained almost 20 (for the longest time I said 15 but let's face it 18 is closer to 20 than 15 is) and no one said anything to me. I wish someone had, because I was in denial for the longest time about it, even after I split the ass out of a pair of jeans that "mysteriously" shrunk. That said, if someone random like my nail lady had said something, I would have been livid. My husband could have gotten away with saying something (although he never would, even when asked point blank) and maybe one or two close friends, but that's about it.
    I don't know if someone saying something to me would have gotten me where I needed to be to do something about it any faster or not. But looking back it kind of pisses me off that no one did say anything to me. I looked awful, and really had no clue.

  • Not only Good Luck, but be happy and enjoy today, it's a
    new adventure,

    Love
    Mom and Dad and Bailey too!

  • I'll admit that I am hugely sensitive to personal critique, so I wouldn't appreciate hearing it from anyone. I also keep an eye on my weight, how my clothes fit, etc., so trust me--I know when I've gained 5 pounds and would prefer not to be reminded. I STILL remember a comment my mom made (on behalf of my dad, who was too chicken to say it to me himself) that I should "watch how much ice cream I eat," because my dad thought I was "looking a little chunky in my bathing suit." I was 13 years old, and that still echoes in my head 20 years later.

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Theodora Blanchfield

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