So you may have noticed a sponsored post or two around these parts lately.
Like Heather, I vowed I’d never write a sponsored post.
Like you, I skip past most sponsored posts in my reader.
So why have I written some sponsored posts?
It’s not because I feel entitled to get paid for the time I spend writing on this blog–I would keep doing it even if I wasn’t getting paid for it.
Getting paid to do something I enjoy is fun, and extra money’s always nice. That’s the long and short of it.
But that’s obviously not why I started this blog. I started it to document my weight loss and to talk about the things I couldn’t stop thinking about–health and nutrition. I’m not saying that I’m going to completely stop sponsored posts, but they will be less frequent. (As Heather and others have blogged, you apply for these posts often months before they run, and you have no idea which ones you will be picked for…so inevitably, they all come up around the same time.)
I do promise to be pickier about any paid opportunities, and I’ve already cut back on accepting free product. I really enjoy blogger events–especially trying new fitness classes–so I’m not cutting back on those, though.
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So consider this a reset and for me to get back to my blogging roots–being real about weight loss, fitness, running, and my love for wine. And thanks for sticking around.
Can I also get a reset on the rest of my life?
Work continues to go well, but involves long hours.
I’ve committed myself to an awful lot for the rest of the year: a half-marathon this weekend, moving next weekend, another half-marathon in April, a relay race and a trip to OBX in May, a 10K and triathlon in June, a wedding in San Francisco in September, two weddings in D.C. in October and a marathon (also in D.C., also in October. Who wants an October roomie??)
All fun stuff, all stuff I’ve chosen to do, but still a little overwhelming. Thinking about all that is also forcing me to hit reset in some other areas so I can afford all that and so I don’t go completely crazy. I loved Carla’s post this morning about having it all. I can choose what my all is, and I want to choose things that make me happy. Having a full social and race calendar absolutely make me happy, but being a good dog owner and just being good to myself make me happy, too.
Which brings me to reset #3.
I’m the most unhappy about my body that I have been since I reached my goal weight two years ago. I haven’t gained more than 3-4 pounds, but good lord, it’s all in my stomach, and the rest of me just feels flabby.
I hate it. I ran home from work again tonight, and I went to put on a pair of shorts I’d absentmindedly grabbed from my drawer without looking or trying them on. They. looked. horrible. Paired with a tighter tank top, they showed off every single bump and roll. I looked in the mirror and felt miserable, and couldn’t imagine running home–outside, in public–in them. I searched my gym bag to see if I had anything else, and finally decided to just run home in the cotton leggings I’d worn under my dress today. I wasn’t going to not run because I felt fat. That wouldn’t help anything.
My stomach has been blissfully peaceful for the past few months, but I’ve also eased up some on the vegetables. For my stupid stomach, it’s a real fine line between a good amount of vegetables and too much. The lack of vegetables, in turn, has made me feel less full, and so, I think my portion sizes have slowly been creeping back to the larger side. A reminder that I will struggle with maintaining my weight for the rest of my life.
But I will never give up.
Tonight, I contemplated warming up a turkey burger and putting it over some whole wheat pasta with pesto and calling it a night, like I’ve been doing lately, but thinking about this lack of veggies, unhappiness with my flabby stomach and the need to clean up my fridge before I move? I made these frozen veggies I got at Whole Foods a few weeks ago for a night like this.
Served with the warmed up turkey burger. Filling and green.
Rinse, repeat.
As for the weight training I know I need to do to tone back up? The jury’s still out on that one. I know I need to find something I can consistently stick with, though, that won’t leave me too sore to run.
Good lord, this was an intense post. If you’ve made it to the end…congratulations. Puppies and sunshine will return tomorrow.
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I love the honestly - about all of the above.
You do have a lot going on this year. Be good to yourself.
Good for you for having a little heart to heart with yourself! And for coming up with a solution you are happy with.
I am thinking about possible workouts that will not interfere with your running. I am training for my first half and running 3 times a week... long runs on Saturdays.
I was gaining a bit of weight so I added protein to my meals and I am doing 3 days of strength training now, mostly upper body and core, but some squats and lunges. And I just started loving stretching and standing yoga poses. I can already feel and see results in my muscles.
Good luck with your RESET!
Nothing wrong with making money :)
Mmm. Where do you get/how do you prep your turkey burgers?
overwhelming doesn't even begin to explain the blog post obligations i feel right now. that's why i haven't emailed you back, by the way. i am sure you understand :)
@janetha: And people think blogging is easy. While blogging might be easy... running as a biz is a whole other story and can be quite overwhelming.
But you got good stuff.
And so do you Theodora. I need to be eating like you until summer meets its end!
Your honesty and self awareness is amazing! We all can't be perfect all the time, but when we feel off, we do something about it and we start making those little changes and honestly, that's what counts. Whether that be work, our diet or exercise plan or the way we live. Good for you! :)
Holy race commitments! Would that April Half be the More Womens??
I don't mind your sponsored reviews, a long as your opinions are honest, but it does interrupt the natural flow of your blog when there's too many of them bunched together.
Aack, I'm so sorry you're having a feeling fat day. I'm sure once you've figured out how to fit working out into your new work schedule, you'll feel better and feel less fat. Can you work out during the day (during your lunch hour)? I always envy people who do that. I don't know if I could swing it regularly, but there is an Equinox location 3 blocks from my office, so I could try to fit something in. I just don't know how I would have time to shower, too, and then I'd still have to find some time to eat lunch.
@Linda:
Normally they don't shower. I have seen women do this on their lunch hour. They throw their hair into a bun and put on some fresh deodorant and swipe on some makeup. Kinda gross.
I Love puppies and sunshine! I spent the summer in Singapore where they don't really eat many vegetables, and I easily gained 5 pounds that I am still trying to get off. It's my carb weight from eating all that rice. We will both get it off!
I FEEL you lady - I've got a lot on my plate, and my mind, and this in turn leads to less conscious eating. This week I've committed to super clean eating and hope that at least that will put my mind at ease a bit - especially when looking in the mirror.