Go ahead and roll your eyes, but tonight’s post title comes from my favorite vitamins. (How they changed my life.)
I was walking home from the subway and thinking about if I wanted to blog tonight. Did I have anything to blog about?
I walked past a billboard for New Chapter Organics, which makes the best probiotic known to human.
I’m turning 30 next month.
Truthfully, those last two statements are unrelated. I had a bit of a quarter-life crisis when I turned 25, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to stare one down turning 30. But I think I”m in a better place. I read Ali’s post from this morning and chatted with Dori about it. My 10-year plan when I was 19 saw me as editor-in-chief of a magazine and married by now. Nineteen-year old Theodora was wrong.
But nineteen-year-old Theodora was wrong about a lot of things (please see: calories consumed while drinking beer do not contain calories), and she didn’t have a magic ball.
I’m not one to regret things, but if I could change one thing in life, I would have moved to NYC immediately following college. I was unhappy in D.C. for a long time and staying there an extra three years after college didn’t do me any favors.
I put high expectations on myself; sometimes I meet them, sometimes I don’t.
I haven’t checked off all the boxes in life I thought I would by the time I turned 30…and I’m okay with that.
There’s some stuff I’m working through, but I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished so far. Stuff that was never in my life plan. Stuff that came up out of nowhere, blindsided me, and ended up being awesome. (Um, starting this blog?!)
I don’t know yet if I believe those people that say YOUR 30S ARE THE BEST EVER! but I’m ready.
I let go of some stuff this morning and made room to truly enjoy my Cosmo article being tweeted out.
Cosmoplitan Freaking Magazine tweeted me. With a story I wrote. With my before and after picture.
There were a few small things I missed in the last round of edits that I wish now I could change, and I’m still not crazy about the headline…but I wrote an article for Cosmo. That’s awesome. It’s time to drop the worries about those things and bask in this moment.
As the article documented, when I started this blog, I wasn’t the happiest. I lost weight and changed my life, and now I’m still working through some stuff, but I’m still happier than I was before I started all this. Happier, but not as carefree. (But still silly sometimes!!)
HI STEVE!
But that comes with age, right? (The less carefree, not the silliness. I’ll never lose the silliness. Promise.)
The problems my friends and I have now are more serious as we get older–but our successes are that much sweeter, too. I find my friendships becoming more intense as we go through these highs and lows together.
My parents aren’t getting younger. My dad is having surgery tomorrow. (Please say prayers or send good thoughts for him!)
This is what’s important to me now. Those deep friendships. Those deep relationships with my family. That relationship with myself. My blog has become a ton more introspective in the past year, somewhat unconsciously. That’s fine. That’s where I am right now. I’m training for a half-marathon, too. The running posts will be back, I promise.
In that awkward moment where I tie it all back to the title: it’s my new chapter in life.
When did you find a new chapter in life? Do you get really introspective approaching big birthdays, too? No? Just me?
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Your introspective posts are my favorite. I get the same way around my birthday, and I often have a hard time not letting if I'm "where I should be at this point in my life" determine my level of birthday excitement, but it's definitely challenging. You may not be where you expected, but did you ever expect to be able to inspire so many people with your story? I'm just an outsider looking in, but I'd say where you are is pretty fantastic!
Saying prayers for your dad.
I'd have to say that life gets better in the 30s...there are challenges, and I don't think you ever stop thinking 'I thought I'd be X by now.' But you have more life experience to call upon.
Praying for your dad, girl!
I've got my 30th coming up in September, so I feel a lot of the same stuff you're talking about. Definitely not where I thought I would be, but trying to trust the path life has found me on.
I turned 30 back in October, and I struggled with it at first. Then I got a letter from a "reader" asking if it bothered me that I was single and 30. When I responded and the email bounced back it made me realize that I being single and 30 does not bother me. I would have missed out on so many of the experiences that have made me who I am. The past two months have been a few of my happiest in recent memory.
30>20!
These posts make me wish I knew you in real life, because I went through THE EXACT SAME THING before my 30th. Topped off with a huge panic attack in the car on the way to my 30th birthday dinner. It's normal, no matter where you are in life, because I think I have everything I thought I would have at this point (husband, awesome job, great friends) but I still worry about the other things (kids, where will my career go from here, etc). You'll get through it!
Thinking of your dad! xo
I think I am going through a new chapter in my life right now. I am buying a house and it is scary as shit and exciting at the same time. A few years ago I thought I would be in NYC for a very long time. Things change very quickly though and generally always for the better!
By the way, I love these posts of yours! and another congratulations for the cosmo article! so amazing!!
Thinking of your dad! 30 is going to be awesome for you girl!!
Congrats on the Cosmo article!
Sending good wishes to your dad! The 30's are way better than the 20's. And your accomplishments in your 20's are pretty stellar!
19 and 34 were the tough birthdays for me. I don't really remember a big crisis at 30, but I know a few people who said it was their hardest birthday. I've also heard good things about the 40's - as soon as I get there I'll send an update!
Thank you for posting this. I think it is so common with our age group of women - successful, accomplishing so much and having so much to be grateful for - yet bombarded with what we "thought" we would be or what others think we should have been. And yet, when you really think about it, I don't want to be the person I thought I was going to be when I was 20. My understanding has evolved and so has the idea of what I should be. And the "others"? They aren't sitting around thinking about what we aren't, frankly, most are amazed at what we are and what we are doing- today. Enjoy this new chapter!
Sending prayers to your family.
This post really resonated with me.
It all feels awkward sometimes but the ups, the downs and the flat middle pieces are all part of the journey.
All the best to your family.