Sharing My #LifeUnfiltered Story

Did you read this article about Madison Holleran? She was a beautiful, smart, accomplished athlete at Penn who took her life last year because she was so depressed. Her friends and family talk about how she was constantly comparing her life to others’ that she saw on Instagram and while she knew that she, too, was posting things that made her life look perfect when it wasn’t, she ultimately wasn’t able to really believe that.

There was another great article that showed what her friends were really thinking when they posted certain shiny happy pictures online.

Last night, Ashley and I went to the Conrad Hotel’s rooftop bar, Loopy Doopy, to celebrate her sister-in-law’s engagement. On the surface, it looks like I’m happy and enjoying myself (minus that stray hair in my bangs that pissed me off all night) with friends at a swanky NYC rooftop bar.

What you don’t see is the texts to Ashley just an hour before about how I wasn’t sure I wanted to go because I was feeling depressed and couldn’t drag myself out of bed. That I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the only single one with all couples…again.

The other day, I posted a picture of myself doing wheel at work. In a dress.

What you don’t see is the panic attack that came out of nowhere just hours earlier and my amazingly kind manager/friend/favorite person who took a walk with me and held my hand and hugged me while I cried.

I have a blog. I work in social media. I obviously love the good it’s done for us in making the world seem smaller, but I’m also acutely aware of how it can lead us to portray our lives with this shiny veneer and make us feel less than.

The Instagram effect is all too real. I love this quote:

You never know what’s going on just below the surface of that perfectly staged Instagram photo. Don’t assume someone’s life is perfect just because of how it appears. Ask people how they’re doing. If you’re the one struggling, reach out to someone. It scared me telling Jordan and Ashley how I felt, but I’m glad I did. Charlie said it really well: “it’s OK to not be OK.” And it is. We’ve all been there at some point.

On this Mother’s Day, I also just wanted to say that I’m thinking of everyone: my wonderful mother, my wonderful friends who have been blessed with children — but also those who are struggling to get pregnant, those who can’t be with their mothers today, those who have lost their mothers and those who don’t have great relationships with their moms.

That’s enough sap for today, I’m going to go ride my bike.