Did you read this article about Madison Holleran? She was a beautiful, smart, accomplished athlete at Penn who took her life last year because she was so depressed. Her friends and family talk about how she was constantly comparing her life to others’ that she saw on Instagram and while she knew that she, too, was posting things that made her life look perfect when it wasn’t, she ultimately wasn’t able to really believe that.
There was another great article that showed what her friends were really thinking when they posted certain shiny happy pictures online.
Last night, Ashley and I went to the Conrad Hotel’s rooftop bar, Loopy Doopy, to celebrate her sister-in-law’s engagement. On the surface, it looks like I’m happy and enjoying myself (minus that stray hair in my bangs that pissed me off all night) with friends at a swanky NYC rooftop bar.
What you don’t see is the texts to Ashley just an hour before about how I wasn’t sure I wanted to go because I was feeling depressed and couldn’t drag myself out of bed. That I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the only single one with all couples…again.
The other day, I posted a picture of myself doing wheel at work. In a dress.
What you don’t see is the panic attack that came out of nowhere just hours earlier and my amazingly kind manager/friend/favorite person who took a walk with me and held my hand and hugged me while I cried.
I have a blog. I work in social media. I obviously love the good it’s done for us in making the world seem smaller, but I’m also acutely aware of how it can lead us to portray our lives with this shiny veneer and make us feel less than.
The Instagram effect is all too real. I love this quote:
You never know what’s going on just below the surface of that perfectly staged Instagram photo. Don’t assume someone’s life is perfect just because of how it appears. Ask people how they’re doing. If you’re the one struggling, reach out to someone. It scared me telling Jordan and Ashley how I felt, but I’m glad I did. Charlie said it really well: “it’s OK to not be OK.” And it is. We’ve all been there at some point.
On this Mother’s Day, I also just wanted to say that I’m thinking of everyone: my wonderful mother, my wonderful friends who have been blessed with children — but also those who are struggling to get pregnant, those who can’t be with their mothers today, those who have lost their mothers and those who don’t have great relationships with their moms.
That’s enough sap for today, I’m going to go ride my bike.
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Thank you for posting this. <3
Hugs to a great post!
This might be the best thing you've ever written.
Such a great post and SUCH an important reminder.
Yes, yes, yes. You can never judge a book by its cover. We only see the surface of being on social media and oftentimes even in real life circumstances. Thanks for this very real post!
This is such a refreshing and honest post. Thanks for sharing and it is a great reminder for everyone.
Awesome post! And a great reminder. Thank you. I also was going to comment on your picture last night to tell you "You looked great!" Wish I would have.
@Sara @ Lake Shore Runner: you still can ;) haha
truer words have never been spoken. I love and miss you.
@Blake: I love and miss you, too, friend
Thanks for sharing love. So true that you never know what's going on behind the scenes.
@Kath: xoxo
I can sympathize with this too. I'm usually the only un-coupled one when I go out with my closest friends. I'm usually ok with it but sometimes it can be really hard. Hang in there. :)
GREAT post. So, so true. Don't compare your lows to someone else's highlights - and like you said, remember that no one's life is as perfect as social media makes it seem. xo
@Anne @fANNEtasticfood: I'm so lucky to have an Anne in my life
@Theodora Blanchfield: <3 <3 right back at ya!