Tonight, as I watched The Biggest Loser on the treadmill while doing a tempo run, I thought about pushing myself.
[source]
I think all the times I started down this path of healthy living before, I failed because of a self-fulfilling prophecy: I was afraid I would fail.
I was afraid I’d put in all that work and not be able to lose weight.
I was afraid I’d lose that first 10 or so pounds that’s pretty easy to drop when you start and not be able to go any further.
It wasn’t till I decided failure wasn’t an option that I succeeded. I started this blog. I went to a trainer who wouldn’t let me fail (even if pushing through those first few embarrassing workouts when I felt like I couldn’t do anything right felt like a failure.)
Pre-weight loss, I’d run three races, half-assing the training each time, subconsciously giving myself an out if I failed. “It’s okay–I didn’t really train for it.”
But now that I’m not quite as afraid of failure, now that I’ve accepted that taking risks always pays off, whether immediately or down the road as it teaches you something, I still find myself afraid to push myself. Especially in running. ESPECIALLY doing speed work.
[photo via Tina]
Those old days where I was afraid to push myself for fear of failing come flooding back when I try to push the speed. Even though I know I’ve lost a ton of weight, I still sometimes see myself as the overweight girl I used to be, who couldn’t run. I ran with Tina and Monica at Fitbloggin’, and I was terrified. They are fast! How was I going to keep up with them? Again, i didn’t give myself a chance to fail. I was going to run with them, and I was going to keep up. (And I did.)
It took five half-marathons for me to reach my sub-2:00 goal last year. The first half, I wanted it so badly, but I just wasn’t ready. I missed it by just under two minutes. The next two halfs,
I just couldn’t pull it together and try hard enough to do it. Katie even paced me for the More | Fitness Half, but I was afraid for her to see me try and fail, and I gave up pretty early in, before I could fail.
My point? Take a chance on yourself. You’re worth it, and I’m pretty sure you’ll surprise yourself. (Also, if you’re a runner, do the damn speed work. It helps. Sigh.)
What did you think you couldn’t do and found out you actually could when you just wouldn’t let yourself fail? Do you love to push yourself or does it scare you?
Or…what are you afraid of failing at?
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Was totally scared of attempting grad school and it has turned out great. I am currently in my last semester and graduating in April! Never, ever thought that would ever happen.
If I knew I couldn't fail, I would run on the treadmill. It scares the holy bologna out of me!
Maybe I'm just super emotional, but this post totally made me want to cry! I have spent so much time thinking about this lately. I just (Sunday) ran my first half marathon, and the first time I ever tried to run I weighed 230 lbs and gave up after 10 seconds. Literally. For so long I was sure I couldn't do it and even after I lost the weight, I still didn't push myself to run because I was sure I would fail. I wish that I could make every single person believe that they can do it and take those risks, because I still can't get over how amazing I feel, and I can't wait to tackle new things....like speed work :)
Great post!
I had two back surgeries after a horrible snowboarding accident. Prior to both, I was unable to walk or move without being in hysterics from the debilitating pain. I knew I would figure out how to walk again, but I never thought I'd be able to run.
Today I'm about 1.5 years out from my second surgery and if you can believe it, I'm training for my first marathon. I NEVER imagined I would be able to do this again and I'll admit, I'm still scared to fail, but the fact that I can run might be the best motivation to get myself out of bed and out for a run.
@Andrea @ the MF Dre: whoa! Congrats on your amazing recovery.
I am an AVID watcher of the Biggest Loser and I miss their old opening song, "What have you done today to make you feel proud?" I'd find myself trying to answer that question all the time! They makes themselves proud constantly by pushing themselves past their comfort zone. Something I'm definitely working on. Great post!
Let me take this opportunity again to say how very proud I am of my daughter!
Remember there is no such thing as failure,you have the courage to pick yourself up and start again, life is full of ups and downs,
The failure is never to have tried at all
Love,
Mom
It's totally fate that I read this post this morning. I want to attempt a PR in a spring half, but in order to do that I need to drop a little over a minute per mile off my pace in the next4 months. I've done it before (that's how I got my current PR), but that was 2 years ago and I feel like now it's different. I'm afraid to fail this spring, but I automatically fail if I don't even try... and if I don't PUSH myself, I'm never going to get there. Speedwork is on the agenda for today, so I'll be pushing it!
I absolutely hate pushing myself. i feel like i fail at race goals because i cant push myself to the brink of absolutely pain and exhaustion. i tend to hold back and hold a more comfortable pace. i need to trust in myself and my coach and my training plan that i can hold faster paces!
Awesome awesome post! While training for my 1st half, I always gave myself outs (running in loops in case I wanted to quit), and I seeded myself at a finish time 30 minutes slower than my pace for the actual race. After finishing faster than I thought I would, I'm determined to shave 10 minutes off my next race time, and can do it if I push.
Also learning that this applies to life - work, relationships, etc. Here's to setting the bar high and crushing it! And speed work...
I love this post!! I'm going to try CrossFit this weekend and I'm TERRIFIED... but I really want to do it! So I'm going to try and see what happens. :)
Love this post! I related to so much, especially about losing weight. I just had a huge realization that the fear of not succeeding is keeping me back from losing the last 20. So crazy, I've come so far, why not go all the way!? Thanks for a great post!!