At lunchtime today, I walked to Chipotle to get my favorite chicken tacos with guac in corn tortillas, and I called my mom.
She’s been sick for the past few days, so I expected she’d be home. When she didn’t answer at home, I called her cell phone and asked her just what she thought she was up to. She should be resting! (Oh yes. Giving her a taste of her own medicine!)
“Well, I’m feeling a little better…and since I gave up ice cream for Lent…I had to go to the bakery.”
“Oh really? Don’t you think you should be having some soup or something healthy?”
(I’m really only like this with my parents–I care about them a tremendous amount and want them to keep themselves healthy. Yeah, I know they need to want to do it on their own, but a little push never hurt, eh?)
“Oh, I am. I’m having an apple turnover. There’s apple in it!”
“Right. And butter, and a million cups of sugar…”
“But there’s apple in it!”
“Mom, thanks for teaching me how to trick myself into anything being healthy.”
She was throwing out some ridiculous justifications at me, so I asked her to write some down and send them to me to post.
Apple turnovers–why they are nutritioius and heathy? Lots of apples! Eat one a day.
Also, brownies, with lots of chocolate, are high in antioxidants and keep high blood pressure down. [Clearly my mom is not a doctor.)
Spaghetti with meatballs–serve a least one a week, a must! Left over meatballs and veal cutlets and eggplant for lunch, be the only one without boring peanut and jelly and bologna for lunch. Be the envy of all your friends at school, with the only oily lunch bag. [I was totally this kid.]
Pancakes for breakfast–start the day with a hearty breakfast!
Desserts when having company for dinner–always have three: chocolate cake, ice cream cake and lemon pie. After all, aren’t lemons good for you?
What are the most ridiculous ways you justify a food’s “healthiness” to yourself? My personal favorite is sweet potato fries. Clearly they are so much better for you than regular french fries.
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"there's apples in it" hahaha! That made me laugh! it's totally something I would tell myself to feel better when I'm choosing to indulge.
Ice cream is jam packed with calcium, and therefore, fights Osteoporosis. Obviously.
Red wine for antioxidants and relaxation, frozen yogurt (yogurt is a wonder food right), and CHEESE (because we all need extra calcium and vitamin D)
Portions definitely don't matter when there's these kind of health benefits! Duh.
Allll of those foods, minus the melted disaster ice cream cake, look so good that I can see why people justify sometimes. I only justify if I say WELL IT'S A TREAT. Once per week or so, max. Not often! (Otherwise I treat toooo much!)
I like your mom! She had a funny way of eating healthy foods. :) And I really like your attitude towards your parents. Keep up the good work! Thanks for sharing this..
I love your mom.
haha i like your mom. hope she feels better soon! fun post.
Caipirinha - I drink it just because of the vitamines! :-)
This is definitely healthy and at the same time delicious eating...Well for sure a lot of people will want to have this weekly...
I think that I might be able to kill someone? Yes. I do not want to ever have to kill anyone, but I know that I would fiercely defend a child or another helpless individual if they were under attack.