A Way to Justify Anything

At lunchtime today, I walked to Chipotle to get my favorite chicken tacos with guac in corn tortillas, and I called my mom.

She’s been sick for the past few days, so I expected she’d be home. When she didn’t answer at home, I called her cell phone and asked her just what she thought she was up to. She should be resting! (Oh yes. Giving her a taste of her own medicine!)

“Well, I’m feeling a little better…and since I gave up ice cream for Lent…I had to go to the bakery.”

“Oh really? Don’t you think you should be having some soup or something healthy?”

(I’m really only like this with my parents–I care about them a tremendous amount and want them to keep themselves healthy. Yeah, I know they need to want to do it on their own, but a little push never hurt, eh?)

“Oh, I am. I’m having an apple turnover. There’s apple in it!”

“Right. And butter, and a million cups of sugar…”

“But there’s apple in it!”

“Mom, thanks for teaching me how to trick myself into anything being healthy.”

She was throwing out some ridiculous justifications at me, so I asked her to write some down and send them to me to post.

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Apple turnovers–why they are nutritioius and heathy? Lots of apples! Eat one a day.

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Also, brownies, with lots of chocolate, are high in antioxidants and keep high blood pressure down. [Clearly my mom is not a doctor.)

201203062219.jpg Lasagna, with all that cheese and tomato sauce and protein, all wrapped in one, layer after layer, all in one dish, and keeps you filled till dessert. [And beyond.]

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Spaghetti with meatballs–serve a least one a week, a must! Left over meatballs and veal cutlets and eggplant for lunch, be the only one without boring peanut and jelly and bologna for lunch. Be the envy of all your friends at school, with the only oily lunch bag. [I was totally this kid.]

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Pancakes for breakfast–start the day with a hearty breakfast!

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Desserts when having company for dinner–always have three: chocolate cake, ice cream cake and lemon pie. After all, aren’t lemons good for you?
What are the most ridiculous ways you justify a food’s “healthiness” to yourself? My personal favorite is sweet potato fries. Clearly they are so much better for you than regular french fries.

28 comments on “A Way to Justify Anything

  1. Kelsey Host

    Red wine for antioxidants and relaxation, frozen yogurt (yogurt is a wonder food right), and CHEESE (because we all need extra calcium and vitamin D)

    Portions definitely don’t matter when there’s these kind of health benefits! Duh.

    Reply
  2. Olivia

    Allll of those foods, minus the melted disaster ice cream cake, look so good that I can see why people justify sometimes. I only justify if I say WELL IT’S A TREAT. Once per week or so, max. Not often! (Otherwise I treat toooo much!)

    Reply
  3. Nicole

    I like your mom! She had a funny way of eating healthy foods. 🙂 And I really like your attitude towards your parents. Keep up the good work! Thanks for sharing this..

    Reply
  4. Chezianne

    This is definitely healthy and at the same time delicious eating…Well for sure a lot of people will want to have this weekly…

    Reply
  5. Sheila

    I think that I might be able to kill someone? Yes. I do not want to ever have to kill anyone, but I know that I would fiercely defend a child or another helpless individual if they were under attack.

    Reply
  6. MBZ

    I love her! I like to think cookies have milk and eggs in them so they are healthy. My mom thought they were totally suitable for breakfast.

    Reply
  7. Megan @ Life As Megan Knows It

    Mom’s are too funny! Part of the reason I hate living home for the last 4 months was my mom was the same way! She always had desert on the table and whole make me whole wheat pasta but load it with cheese and everything else. Gatta love a mom!

    Reply
  8. Jen Correa @ Mom's Gotta Run

    People all around me love to justify unhealthy foods. I sometimes wonder if they really believe it. BTW – I am the same way with Mom. It definitely comes out of a place of love. BTW – I need a fruit for snack. Ask Mom if there is any apple… turnover left. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mom

      @Jen Correa @ Mom’s Gotta Run:

      Well, Just came home from the doctor with a sinus
      infection, as I walked in the house with my medication I saw the other half of my apple turnover staring at me, so I ate it before making my soup and taking my medicine,
      A little comfort food goes a long way to feeling better

      Reply
  9. MigraineMe

    This is great and so, so funny, yet so, so true! I do the same thing with my mom and she justifies it to me with these exact examples. Or, alternatively, she will eat bad things in front of my brother and tell him not to tattle on her to me. I love this post – it just made my day!

    Reply
  10. Jen @ Such a Funny Fat

    I’ve been a Weight Watchers member for awhile and I questioned how people got in their dairy. Practically in the same breath I lamented about how much I love a good latte and my leader told me to have the latte cause it counts as the dairy good health guideline. 🙂

    Reply
  11. janet scudieri

    I agree with your mother, and it is not because we are friends. Apples have pectin in them which make them very healthy. Just because they are in sugar, still makes them okay. Sugar gives you energy, and she needs her energy to go to the bakery tomorrow to get another apple turnover, so she can get better. I think you just don’t understand us.

    Reply

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