I just got back from an OK run, and I’m feeling happy.

Why am I talking about running again all of a sudden? Why is it all of a sudden feeling good? I started talking about this on Instagram, and I said I’d expand here.

My friend Meggie (go follow her, she is hilarious AND a super smart doctor) is basically my personal influencer, and I saw she’d started working with a running coach, Jess Movold. Without telling too much of someone else’s story (though Meggie has been talking about it on IG), Meggie was not feeling awesome running either and started working with Jess. She went from a bunch of run/walk to really feeling strong again.

It was really inspiring for me to watch and, duh, I wanted to feel strong, too. Running is so important to me, so much a part of my identity, and it felt so frustrating to me that this major part of my identity just has felt so out of reach and daunting and scary the past few years. I wondered if I was just getting too old to run (I cognitively know this is not the case but feelings are hard, yo), and it was time to throw in the towel.

But I decided to work with Jess, and I’m about six weeks in and really really happy with how things are going. Working with a coach is a definite luxury, and I know I am lucky to be able to do so.

Someone on IG asked me what I do/get from my running coach, and I thought I’d share it here:

1. Accountability!! My intrinsic motivation has been really hard for me to tap into for a while, so reporting back on my runs to someone helps. And I’m a people pleaser, so I don’t want to let someone down. Plus, paying makes me more likely to do the work to get my money’s worth.
2. Not having to think: I coach running myself, so I can put together a plan for myself, but I am more likely to move my own workouts around/cut them short/make them easier. Jess gives me both running (speed, easy, long runs) and strength based on how I’m doing—which factors in everything from performance, how I’m doing physically, how I’m doing mentally.
3. Cheerleader!! Really, the thing I need most right now is work on my running mindset, and she’s great at that, believing in me at where I am now AND what I have the potential to do.

Here’s a run from before I started working with Jess. You can see from the HR dips that there’s a lot of walking. I still walk sometimes now (and truthfully, even did when I was faster, too) but it feels less defeating.

And here’s a run from earlier this week. I was supposed to do 35 minutes but felt really good and did 40. While it’s truly mostly not about the pace right now, I’m not going to lie that my ego feels good seeing my pace improve in a little over a month. Sure, I still get in my head sometimes about my pace and that I’m excited for paces for 3-4 miles now that were my personal slow paces for A MARATHON, but I’m trying my best to just embrace this feeling of a beginner’s mindset and feel like I’m discovering running all over again. (Or develop running amnesia, as Meggie calls it.)

(You can follow me on Strava here. I was resistant to it for so long because I felt embarrassed about my pace, but I like the idea of community and really miss the old DailyMile days.)

What do you have a beginner’s mindset about right now?