Author Archives: Theodora Blanchfield

Working on Positivity

Negative Thoughts


If I’m being super honest, negative thoughts are something I really struggle with (thank you anxiety and depression!) and am actively trying SUPER hard to work on, especially in the face of 2017 being an incredibly tough year. And it spirals REAL quick. (Here’s an awesome PDF on what they are and how to begin to fight them.)

When I am stressed and overwhelmed (hi, right now), these thoughts come on fast and furious. Like, to the point a few of my good friends have noticed basically to the minute when this happens, and I shut down. 

I follow this coach, Susi, online, and bought one of her trainings or memberships a while back, and am in a Facebook group (so many Facebook groups, I’m in…) about mindset journaling. So woo woo, I know…but man if this shit doesn’t work.

I had an interview last week for a gig, and I was TERRIFIED and telling myself all kinds of stories about why I shouldn’t get it. I remembered Susi’s mindset journaling, and Ali’s been doing some mantra stuff on IG on her stories — and I thought about the marathon affirmations Jess told me to do when I was freaking the F out about the race.

(Now obviously this doesn’t work if you’re not also prepared, but…)

I wrote down, “I have the experience and the expertise.” I wrote down all the reasons I could, not all the reasons I couldn’t. I abandoned all the reasons I couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t get the gig…and I got it!

I’m working on studying for my personal trainer certification, and I was learning about cortisol this weekend. Obviously I’ve known this is a stress hormone for a while, (and hi, living in NYC, working in social media AND having a crap year last year, I know I’ve probably got tons of extra cortisol coursing through my veins), but a trainer I know mentioned that excess cardio can lead to spiked cortisol too. So, theoretically, I asked her — does long distance running on top of being in a stressed out state extra spike your cortisol levels? Maybe, she said, and recommended, at a minimum, adding more strength/resistance training. Curious: have any of you noticed this, either anecdotally or through testing? (When I did InsideTracker in 2016, my cortisol level was OK, would be interesting to test it now…)

Finally, related to a lot of this: as usual, Claire Bidwell Smith speaks straight to my soul with this post about grieving in the New Year. Expecting to feel! magically! better! because the sun had set in 2017 was really naive at best.

So, tl;dr? I’m actively working really hard on looking for positivity and I probably have too much cortisol coursing through my veins but I’m off to run anyway?

How do you turn your negative thoughts around — and any experience on lowering your cortisol levels? 

Wine Catch-Up: January 2018 (Llamas Always Included!)

Let’s call this a wine catch-up, shall we? I’m drinking my fave, La Crema Chardonnay, what about you?

If I’m being honest, this week was incredibly tough. I did Christmas with my dad last week, and while I was grateful for him, and gifts, and life, it was so painful doing this after having been through the holiday season. It was so painful to not have my mom there. Then, I had a conversation with a friend about some mom stuff she was going through. I really thought I was as at peace with my mom dying as I could have been when I lost her; this chat brought up a lot of the stuff I wish I’d worked on more in my relationship with her. (Nothing major, honestly/thankfully, just ways that I wish I had handled my end better. That low kind of compounded some of the struggles I’m having as I make my way down my new career path and am just feeling very uncertain about life in general.

Erica Sara Necklace

After every marathon, my mom bought me a marathon necklace from Erica Sara. At the time, they were special because they were a physical commemoration of an accomplishment. Now, those six necklaces my mom bought me are treasured memories of her watching on the sidelines as my #1 cheerleader, and special memories. She and Erica used to talk every holiday season about just how my necklace would be personalized that year. My dad buying me this necklace (I mean, he’s a man, I sent him the link ;)) feels like a special connection with my mom. And because Erica is The Best, she wrote the most amazing personal note that she enclosed with the necklace. I started sobbing as soon as I read it. I’m constantly amazed and surprised by how deeply caring people can be.

My dad also listened well and bought me this Lilly llama top, which makes me just as happy as you’d imagine. 

Passion Pit

On a happier note…the next night, I went to see Passion Pit! And…got in for free. It was a last minute decision and I was going to buy a ticket from a scalper (the show was sold out), and when I came back from the ATM, I heard him trying to buy a ticket from someone else to sell to me. Thankfully, an amazing security guard overheard the whole exchange and just waved me in with my friend. HELL YES!

I’m not going to pretend this post isn’t all over the place.

I also found The Best Bra Ever, ladies. Journelle is having a huge sale, and I went on a friend’s recommendation. This bra is comfortable, but more importantly, it is SO. FLATTERING. I feel like I look like I lost 10 pounds the second I put it on. It just kind of sucks everything up and out. I’ll say that the sizing is super weird; I am usually ~36D, and I took a 36DDD in this one. 

J. Crew Sequin Scottie T-Shirt

The same day I discovered The Most Amazing Bra, I also got this shirt.

Like I said, I was having a TOUGHHHH week emotionally, but! I recorded an episode of Ali’s podcast. Unsurprisingly, I talk a lot about grief (and also how running helped it.) I also talked about my not-at-all linear career path, and basically we were sarcastic asses for an hour and a half or so. It was so. much. fun! I hope you listening think so too 🙂 (It will be out next week-ish.)

IMG 8831

I think I mentioned I’m working with Uplift on their social media. (So please go follow @upliftstudios on all platforms THANKS!) We had a photo shoot today to get some ~content~ for social and marketing purposes, and I got a snazzy headshot. And, um, a butt shot.

(Pants | tank | sports bra | sneaks)

Just as a heads-up, since I linked to Victoria’s Secret there — they are doing the $55 for sports bra + pants again! That’s an amazing deal. (I posted about that a few years ago.)

NYJL Wellness Day

And tomorrow, two of my fave things in one: Junior League + wellness.

If only my tummy would behave…it’s been acting up again and basically hasn’t been right since I got back from my trip. I’m trying to eat clean and take my probiotics again before I see a doc…but this is not the way I wanted to lose weight 🙁 

A few more random asides…

1. I’m running the NYC Half to raise money for ovarian cancer support and research and need your help! Any help appreciated.

2. My baby cousin is selling Girl Scout Cookies if you are so inclined to order…

3. There is an amazing post on the Uplift blog about post-partum fitness and being really and truly gentle with yourself. As someone who’s obviously never had a kid, I still thought it was a beautiful read. 

What have you been up to/loving/what are you doing this weekend?