No is a Full Sentence

I read a really great article on PopSugar a few weeks ago — “I Started Saying ‘No’ and Began Losing Weight.”

Somewhere in my mind I had worked out this deal: since I was writing about health all day long, I was obviously being healthy.

Oh, hello. I write/strategize health and fitness content all day every day at work. I know exactly what I “should” be doing. Yet…I don’t always do it.

I convince myself that after long days, I deserve wine, or I deserve tacos for dinner. (Hello, I did neither of those tonight…)

I’ve always been a bit of a social butterfly. I like to think I’m a pretty friendly person, and as such, I’ve accumulated a lot of friends from different parts of my life. If I wanted to, I *could* have plans every night of the week, and sometimes I do.

But that can be conflicting with my health goals and often leads to me shortchanging myself because a friend wants to get drinks. Or there’s a work happy hour I CAN’T MISS.

Not only does being social usually lead to eating not as well as I’d eat alone, it can also get kind of draining for the introvert in me that draws energy from alone time. (Hello, 30s.)

Oxygen Mask

Also, that.

Ironically, my mom being sick has helped me prioritize my own self-care — all that “put on your oxygen mask before helping others” business. I realize I can’t be the daughter and friend she needs right now if I’m not also taking care of myself — which means finally making myself slow down and making myself say no more frequently. I’m kind of Marie Kondo-ing my personal life. Will hanging out with this friend or going to this event spark joy? Then…skip. And it feels REALLY good. My therapist likes to remind me that “no is a sentence.”

But I’d like to put much more of an effort into prioritizing my health when I’m with friends. Not to be the annoying girl at the table who orders her meal with everything on the side and changes the whole meal, but just someone who quietly gets what she needs for herself. I’ll be starting to train more seriously for Brooklyn soon, so I’m excited for that reason.

A few unrelateds:

1. My photo ended up on the Town + Country website!!!! #goals, acheived.

2. My latest obsession is the Cups app. It’s a COFFEE APP that lets you pre-pay for coffee and then use your phone to pay in-store. It’s particularly awesome post-run to not have to have my card or cash on me. If you sign up through this link, we both get $10.

How do you balance being social with your health goals? How do you say no?

5 comments on “No is a Full Sentence

  1. Meghan

    This is a great post to read heading into the weekend. There are those times that I want to see friends but know I will end up drinking too much, eating badly, and hating myself come Monday. Even if I don’t say no to an outing, I can learn to say no to that third glass of bubbly. . .
    Social media and being a sometimes wine blogger doesn’t help though. Even when I am home and trying to be “good”, seeing someone else eating/drinking something yummy can throw me off track.

    Reply
  2. Katie

    “no” is not fun for me to say, but I know its good for me. One thing I do is I’ve stopped making sunday brunch plans. I can do saturday, but sunday its important for me to just relax with the fam, go to church, go for a walk. Its a quiet way to recharge. As fun as sunday brunch can be, its not worth it when reality comes calling on sunday evening.

    Reply
  3. Amy

    I love this message! I am truly an introvert and your social life would be overwhelming to me a lot! I appreciate your journey to giving yourself permission to say no. As I get older I realize the value in being my own best advocate for mental, emotional and physical health. Thank you for always sharing your honest perspective!

    Reply

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