While there was a lot of unhappiness for me that went with being overweight, there was also a certain degree of carefreeness.
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Hard roll with butter for breakfast? Sure.
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Chicken parm sandwich for lunch? Why not?
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Chicken pad see yew ordered for dinner? Hell yeah!
I didn’t worry about trying to cook more.
Or trying to strength train more.
I didn’t have to balance my job, dog, active social life and Junior League with training for myriad races.
I carried a lot mentally and I carried a lot of extra weight physically, but I didn’t carry a giant gym bag around the city with me, filled with meals, snacks and whatever I needed for my latest healthy hobby.
Getting dressed in some ways was easier, too. I worked my ass off for this body, so I love wearing attractive, form-fitting clothes these days.
But some mornings, I just want to be comfortable. In some ways, that was easier when I was heavier, since I felt more like I just blended into my surroundings and nobody noticed what I was wearing.
I usually wear a dress, skirt or some skinny jeans to work, but back in the day, I wore a ton of these Polo sweaters. All the better to hide under. I always thought Polo was the overweight girl’s dream brand–I could wear the same sweaters and polos as my thinner friends without looking like a sausage stuffing myself into something that didn’t fit right.
Don’t get me wrong–you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to the old me, but it’s funny to think about the differences sometimes and think about a day in the life of “old Theodora.”
What habits (or clothing!) do you associate with the “old” you?
The old me used to eat frozen dinners for lunch AND dinner at least 6 days a week. I didn’t bother to cook anything at home. I still have a Kashi or Amy’s frozen meal for lunch, but its once every couple of weeks, not once a day. 🙂
I lost 67lbs on weight watchers over the past 2 years, i ran a marathon this past feb and since i reached my goal weight in november i have slowly been gaining weight. Since march ive been battling into slipping into my old habits and my weight has shown it, right now im struggling to get back to my more controlled strict self but also trying to enjoy life and have fun – it really is hard to find that balance, especially being a 21 year old when most “fun” things right now, have detrimental side effects.
I used to wear the baggiest T-shirts – I thought I was a size larger than I really was.
It was kind of weird but last night I was with friends who ordered pizza and I ordered a salad. It was nice to have my portion laid out for me – I didn’t need to worry about being overfull from eating half a pizza! (It was nice that my part of the bill was smaller than theirs, too.)
Learning how to cook for myself helped too. 🙂
Kraft macaroni and cheese. It was my fat girl catnip. I ate it 5 days a week, I swear.
I still eat it, but only after long races or in individual Easy Mac cups. Not the entire box in one sitting.
I do miss the carefree-ness of being 250+ lbs. It’s funny to me that I’m not MORE self conscious than I was back then, just because I’m more aware of my body.
@Beth @ Beth’s Journey: Right?? In some ways, I’m definitely more self-conscious.
It’s funny to think of the stages I went through. When I first became conscious of what I was eating, I knew portion control was a big deal … so I’d just put my potato chips and skittles into pre-portioned bags. I mean, it was a step, right? But I literally ate skittles with every single lunch, and on Sunday nights I’d scoop a serving (according to the bag) into little snack bags for the week.
I guess lunch dessert, generally, is definitely a habit of the old me, though I’d be lying if I said I don’t occasionally still have a piece of candy.
Also eating the Trader Joe’s brand pirate booty knockoff, specifically the cheddar one, specifically half a bag at a time. I stopped allowing that into my living quarters sometime in 2006.
Nice work wearing boat shoes in a non-boating situation. I approve!
@Meghan: Dude. I work on a boat.
Dude – that picture of the hard roll and butter brings back the good memories of living in the NE. South Floridians have never heard of such a thing. Former bad habit – nice big bowl of ice cream every night before bed, amongst many others. Once in a while I’ll go out and get some fro-yo, but I never bring it into my house in a half gallon container – too much temptation.
Such a great perspective! It proves that it takes a lot of effort, desire, and planning to live a healthy lifestyle and balance all the other aspects of life…but we wouldn’t change it for anything, right?! 🙂
I’m still working on turning my “now” into my “then”. I’ve lost roughly 25 lbs in the last year or so, and am on a journey to lose up to 70 more. It’s tough to change life long habits, and frustrating. But reading your blog has really been an inspiration and motivating. Thanks!
I ended up getting rid of most of my “old” clothes- both the ones from before I’d lost weight (I wasn’t overweight, but I definitely wasn’t healthy) and the ones from my disordered days. I feel like having cute clothes that I love in a size that’s healthy for me is a motivation to stay both strong and in shape!
You’ve got to be kidding me—it’s so trspanarently clear now!
It’s crazy to think of the unhealthy things I ate (on a regular basis) when I was in a funk for the last several years. I’m a big stress eater, it’s like by the weekend I’d order pizza on a Friday night and eat half of one. Or buying a candy bar at the check out whenever I felt like it, or a few donuts when I was grocery shopping. Basically, no limits. What the heck was I thinking? Duh?
I ended up with a lot of cardigan sweaters and a lot of black clothes. I’ve still only lost 8 pounds, but the inches are falling off and my waist is widdeling down. I feel so much more comfortable in my clothes.
runningtobeskinny.com
The old me would inhale the bread basket at a restaurant. Now I don’t find those calories worth it unless I’m really craving it. I try and save those wasted calories for somthing I can’t have everyday and that requires more thought than grabbing and chewing–like having a glass of wine instead!