Whenever Iâ€™ve asked what you guys want to see more of, I get questions about my dating life. i usually completely deflect the question. Itâ€™s not something Iâ€™ve ever really wanted to talk about publicly.
Too many people read this blog! Coworkers, brands I work with, real-life friends, Internet friends, random people I went to high school with, and lord knows who else. I still maintain that I probably will never blog about the man Iâ€™m dating until Iâ€™m sure heâ€™s the one, because I donâ€™t want this blog to become a record of my romantic misadventures.Â
But, hey, I havenâ€™t written a post that makes my heart race a little bit when I hit publish, so letâ€™s go for this.
Last night, I went out for St. Patrickâ€™s Day. I went to a party at Junior League, got into a cab to come home, and decided that Iâ€™d actually go meet some more Junior League friends at an Irish bar they were at.
I mean, my nails were green, and I was wearing a cute green dress. I couldnâ€™t just go home. I had to do my Irish relatives proud, right?
When I was overweight, I reallyÂ hated dating. I didnâ€™t think there was any way anyone would ever date me. I tried halfheartedly, but I really hid behind my weight. I didnâ€™t let anyone get close, because I thought once he realized I was overweight, heâ€™d leave me. You know, because he couldnâ€™t tell right off the bat?
Iâ€™m fairly outgoing with girlfriends, and with guys Iâ€™m not interested in, but I am absolutely, totally and painfully shy with any man I might be potentially interested in, because Iâ€™m terrified of being hurt.
When I lost weight, I did think it would change my dating life. That it would give me worlds of confidence I never had before. It very briefly did, but as I got used to my new body, that confidence retreated right back to where it came from.Â
Iâ€™ve had a whole bunch of conversations lately with different women in my life about dating. One of my friends said she lovesÂ going up to guys in bars, and thatâ€™s how she met her current boyfriend. â€œBut arenâ€™t you afraid of rejection?â€ I asked. She said that nine out of ten times, she got rejected, but she knew she had to take chances.
Since losing weight, Iâ€™ve tried to date but after putting myself out there and being rejected (or, you know, meeting total trolls), Iâ€™ve retreated back into my life of being single and fulfilled, but still wanting someone to share my life with.
I found a great article this morning a friend wrote about â€œmissing being fat,â€ and so much of the dating stuff resonated with me, but I love how at the end she talked about easing herself into her body confidence.
I told some friends who donâ€™t live here recently I was going to make myself date more this year. They asked how dating in NYC was. â€œIt kind of sucks,â€ I told them, â€œbut I canâ€™t imagine leaving here right now, so I have to believe thereâ€™s someone out there in this big city for me.”
So, out I went last night, and (okay fine, maybe fueled by some Guinness) I danced like nobody was watching, rather than shyly and self-consciously. And what do you know? Two different guys came up to me to dance. I didnâ€™t think about what it meant, or whether they liked me or not, or if theyâ€™d ever want to see me again (or vice versa.) I let that guard down and let these guys twirl me around.
And I had a lot of fun in that cheesy Irish pub.
Hereâ€™s to more of that.
No, but really. Give me your best dating tips/tell me how you met your significant other.