A few months ago, I took a leave of absence from Junior League to focus on being around for my mom and because of a busy work season. Last night, we had a party to celebrate the Outstanding Volunteers we’ll honor at our ball on Saturday, and I got to see lots of ladies I hadn’t seen in the month or so since I took my leave, and my heart is so full.
My Facebook newsfeed has been full lately of articles about female friendships, so I thought it was something interesting to talk about here.
Three years into my 30s, I have to say that the quality of my friendships is one of the best parts of this phase of my life.
I had some really crappy friendships in my 20s, and I also spent a lot of time trying to make some friendships work that I should have just let go. Over the past few years though, I’ve become really conscious about guarding my precious free time and making sure to spend it with people that make me happy — the ones who know me inside and out, the ones who make me laugh until I cry.
Felicia talks about friendship (in the first link) like the market, and I’ve been careful to nurture friendships that have a return on my time investment — that add to my life, rather than taking away from it.
I love all of my married friends, too, but one of the best things I’ve done for myself in my 30s is strengthen my friendships with single girlfriends.
“It’s difficult to organize your life around friendship in a world that’s built for couples, and it’s doubly difficult when your time with friends is seen as a fun extracurricular instead of a basic human need.”
The bond runs deep with my single girlfriends who understand what it’s like to be single in your 30s in a world where (it feels like) everyone’s coupled up. Who understand dating in this difficult city. Who understand the fear that we might not find our person. I need them as much as they need me, and it works. We don’t call them “girls’ dinners” or “girls’ weekends” because that’s what they all are to us. We text the way we’d text with a boyfriend — often and consulting each other on life decisions — because our friends are the most meaningful relationships we have right now.
But single or not, as I’ve gotten older I’ve appreciated the depth of these friendships. We’ve seen each other through job losses, losing parents, dealing with sick parents, dealing with our own illnesses.
And I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Speaking of, one of my good friends has been raving about the Happiness Planner all weekend, and I bought it tonight and am excited to dive into it. Also, I did some window shopping tonight, and Kate Spade has ICE CREAM STUDS. And Old Navy is having a massive sale on their activewear.
What about you? What role does friendship play in your life right now, married or not? And…any good window shopping finds lately? I’m so happy spring clothes are in the windows now. THERE’S AN END IN SIGHT TO WINTER.