Losing Weight a Second Time

A few years ago I was really upset that I’d gained some weight and weighed 143 pounds.

Looking back at that post, all I can think is “that’s cute.” I now weigh nearly 20 pounds more than that.

My clothes aren’t fitting well, and I’m looking at every recent photo of myself and critiquing it.

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Like this one, from the run last weekend. All I see is the “fluff” around my midsection, and I’m not talking about the tutu.

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Or this one of me and my intern, where all I see my puffy face.

Earlier this week, I emailed Tina and told her I wanted to try her meal planning service again — I know I have the knowledge of how to eat well and lose weight, but I really need the accountability.

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Yeah…no emotional eating here. (I gained weight basically as soon as my mom got sick.)

I’m reading 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, and one section talks about a guy who wanted to lose weight but basically was afraid of changing his lifestyle — and it hit SO close to home. Yes, I love going out and drinking wine with my friends, but the frequency I’m doing it is not serving me AT ALL. 

Tina and I decided I’d start the meal plan next week, but I have to admit that I’ve had a really hard time with body image since finally acknowledging all of this earlier this week and not ignoring it.

I texted with Tina earlier and told her all of this and she gave me a really good pep talk.

I’m not sure what my goal weight is, to be honest — it’s more about how I look and feel than an actual number, truly — but I’ve lost 50 pounds. I can do this. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself right now.

And I’m going to blog/IG about it as much as I can. 

Any advice on losing weight a second time? Or things you want me to write about in this?

14 comments on “Losing Weight a Second Time

  1. BChicago

    As a teacher and one of my students now has diabetes, so I have stopped buying the gnocchi from Trader Joe’s. I need help also to lose some weight to feel better (looking better is an afterthought). I appreciate your honesty. My mom just told me about some bad test results recently and getting more testing. I hope everything will work out, but I am in fear also.
    Ok, Thanks for listening.
    Go Cubs Go

    Reply
  2. Amy

    I always appreciate your honesty on here. When my mom died in 2011, I immediately joined Weight Watchers because i knew that if I didn’t, I would gain 100 pounds with my grief. I lost 50 pounds! Six years later those pounds found their way back to me, so I’m trying to get focused on losing them again. It helped me to read your words “I’ve lost 50 pounds. I can do this.” I need this reminder a lot right now. Thank you for being willing to share your journey. You and your dad are still in my thoughts during this time. Be kind to yourself!

    Reply
  3. Melissa

    Have you looked at Naturally Slim? I’m doing it through work and it’s pretty amazing. It focuses on when and how you eat, rather than what you eat. I’ve followed your blog for years – you can do this! I’m so sorry that your mom lost her battle. I was rooting for her.

    Reply
  4. Becky

    Thank you for sharing your journey. I’ve been a reader for a long time and was so sad when your mom lost her battle. Someone else said it above, but please remember to be kind to yourself. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still going through it. Making the decision to make better choices is a form of self care, so that’s great. I’m telling you this, because I’m telling myself this too!

    Your post today really hit close to home because I lost 30 lbs on Weight Watchers several years ago and yep, gained it all back. Just re-signed up again earlier today. I’m tired of feeling gross, and I know that I can do it (you can too!). A big key for me in being successful the first time around was losing the guilt about the days that didn’t go quite as planned. It’s a journey right? I didn’t get here in a month, so it’s going to take more than a month to get back there. We’ve got this.

    Reply
    1. Chelsea

      @Becky: I couldn’t agree more and caught myself nodding along and feeling the same in both the post and this comment – I’ve also lost about 30 lbs and have gained quite a bit of it back. I’ve been back on the wagon for about 2-3 months now and my biggest difference is not beating myself up for the days I enjoy food that might not feel like its “on plan”. The older I get, the number of the scale matters less and how I feel is much more important 🙂 Good luck Theodora and I look forward to following along with your journey!

      Reply
      1. cathryn

        I was nodding along about the bit about being kind to yourself. Yes, eating well is always a good decision and losing weight may help you feel better about yourself which is also really important. But just be gentle with yourself and your body. You’ve been through the wringer, you’re still going through it. Focus on putting good stuff in your body but be careful not to avoid social occasions with friends for that reason. You have such good friends, stick with them.

        Seriously, most of your readers just want to give you a hug.

        Reply
  5. jess

    same thing happened to me when my dad died. now i am finally dealing with it 2 years later. I FEEL YOU…..if you ever want to talk i would love to….

    Reply
  6. Annie

    You can do it! I was in a similar situation and rejoined Weight Watchers to hold myself accountable. I’ve found that having a structured plan, much like what Designed to Fit seems to be, is such a help to stay focused. I’m also not worrying about the number, so I just picked a pair of jeans that used to fit wonderfully and now…not so much. When I feel confident in them again, I will be happy. GOOD LUCK!

    Reply
  7. Marilyn M

    Grief and sadness can take a toll on your health. This organization can help many people who are getting over their lost loved ones. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it.

    Reply

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