I’m really missing sunny California after last week! It’s been cold and rainy in NYC…and in my heart.

Depression and grief are so incredibly frustrating in that I’m doing everything I can that I know of to help: meds, therapy, exercise, eating well, journaling, etc etc etc…but it just feels like it doesn’t matter and I’ll feel this way forever. Even writing that out, I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to not feel that way often, to be honest.

Before I tell you more about LA, two random questions:

1. Any home refresh tips? Or ideas? 🙂 I’m trying to brighten/freshen up my apartment to make it feel a bit cheerier and to change my surroundings a bit. I moved in here almost two years ago, so save for those four months my mom was in remission, I don’t have many positive memories associated with the physicality of my apartment.

2. Related-ish: any ideas of fun activities or things I can do to disrupt my routine a bit? Hobbies I should take up?

But back to sunny California…

Santa Monica

I have some flexibility in my schedule right now, so I decided to tack a few days in LA onto my Sonoma trip. I have a lot of friends in LA now, and it brought me so much peace the last time I was there, I thought it was worth a return trip.

As soon as I picked up the rental car, I went straight to the House of Intuition to satisfy my crystal needs. Yup, zero shame here, people. Crystals bring me some sort of comfort.

Oh hello, happiness.

I actually really wanted to go on the ferris wheel, just for shits and giggles, but they wouldn’t let singles go up! #howrude

Happiest on the beach.

Look at this magical sunset.

I never really got on west coast time…which worked well for coming back to NYC and for catching some excellent sunrises.

I really only had one full day in Santa Monica, but it was probably one of the most healing days since losing my mom.

I had a cold the whole time I was out there, so I was a little lethargic, so didn’t really have it in me for a run, so I just went for a long walk along the beach, snapping some pics with my phone in airplane mode.

And then I had the opportunity to meet Claire Bidwell Smith. I’ve been thinking about this for a week, and I still can’t even really put into words how helpful her work has been to this stupid grief journey I’m on. One of you recommended her books to me, and that recommendation was truly life-changing. She lost her mom at 18 and her dad by 25, and then became a grief therapist/author. After devouring all of her work, I saw on Instagram that she was offering special rates on therapy, and so I’ve been doing a few sessions with her. Since I was going to be in LA, I booked an in-person session with her and am SO glad I did. As a fellow only child who’s been through grief, she just gets it. And  Also, we sat on the balcony of my hotel room overlooking the beach. Beats the NYC shared office space therapy situations I’ve had 🙂

From there…I went to Ceremony Meditation for a crystal healing meditation class. (Yes, full on LA woo-woo, thank you for asking.)

I’m a little frustrated that I fell asleep during the meditation and don’t remember a ton of it! But we pulled crystal tarot cards first, and then we laid down and a crystal was placed on our foreheads. We meditated on the chakras and their colors…and that’s about all I can tell you. Whatever happened, I felt very much at peace after, and that’s all I was really looking for, so…

I’d gone there last summer and had a really emotional and spiritual experience and felt really connected with my mom’s spirit, so it was really important to me to return. Anyone know of a similar place in NYC? Mndfl (but sorry, buy a vowel?) and Inscape are great, but I’m looking for a meditation experience that’s a bit more spiritual.

And then I went hiking with Amy, and we had an amazing discussion about life, career, etc.

To be really honest, I’m not crazy about my body/appearance right now, but I was at peace and feelin’ myself on this particular day.

And then I had dinner with my good friends Meggie and Emily, and it was an excellent way to cap the day…despite the LA traffic that took me 1.5 hours to drive eight miles.

And then I did feel better the next morning, and went for a run to Venice and back and felt SO SO HAPPY.

Definitely have a new appreciation for street art after the tour I went on in Bogota!

OK people — tell me your fave places in LA.