Iâ€™m really missing sunny California after last week! Itâ€™s been cold and rainy in NYCâ€¦and in my heart.
Depression and grief are so incredibly frustrating in that Iâ€™m doing everything I can that I know of to help: meds, therapy, exercise, eating well, journaling, etc etc etcâ€¦but it just feels like it doesnâ€™t matter and Iâ€™ll feel this way forever. Even writing that out, I know thatâ€™s not true, but itâ€™s hard to not feel that way often, to be honest.
Before I tell you more about LA, two random questions:
1. Any home refresh tips? Or ideas? 🙂 Iâ€™m trying to brighten/freshen up my apartment to make it feel a bit cheerier and to change my surroundings a bit. I moved in here almost two years ago, so save for those four months my mom was in remission, I donâ€™t have many positive memories associated with the physicality of my apartment.
2. Related-ish: any ideas of fun activities or things I can do to disrupt my routine a bit? Hobbies I should take up?
But back to sunny California…
I have some flexibility in my schedule right now, so I decided to tack a few days in LA onto my Sonoma trip. I have a lot of friends in LA now, and it brought me so much peace the last time I was there, I thought it was worth a return trip.
As soon as I picked up the rental car, I went straight to the House of IntuitionÂ to satisfy my crystal needs. Yup, zero shame here, people. Crystals bring me some sort of comfort.
Oh hello, happiness.
I actually really wanted to go on the ferris wheel, just for shits and giggles, but they wouldnâ€™t let singles go up! #howrude
Happiest on the beach.
Look at this magical sunset.
I never really got on west coast timeâ€¦which worked well for coming back to NYC andÂ for catching some excellent sunrises.
I really only had one full day in Santa Monica, but it was probably one of the most healing days since losing my mom.
I had a cold the whole time I was out there, so I was a little lethargic, so didnâ€™t really have it in me for a run, so I just went for a long walk along the beach, snapping some pics with my phone in airplane mode.
And then I had the opportunity to meet Claire Bidwell Smith. Iâ€™ve been thinking about this for a week, and I still canâ€™t even really put into words how helpful her work has been to this stupid grief journey Iâ€™m on. One of you recommended her books to me, and that recommendation was truly life-changing. She lost her mom at 18 and her dad by 25, and then became a grief therapist/author. After devouring all of her work, I saw on Instagram that she was offering special rates on therapy, and so Iâ€™ve been doing a few sessions with her. Since I was going to be in LA, I booked an in-person session with her and am SO glad I did. As a fellow only child whoâ€™s beenÂ through grief, she just gets it. And Â Also, we sat on the balcony of my hotel room overlooking the beach. Beats the NYC shared office space therapy situations Iâ€™ve had 🙂
From thereâ€¦I went to Ceremony MeditationÂ for a crystal healing meditation class. (Yes, full on LA woo-woo, thank you for asking.)
Iâ€™m a little frustrated that I fell asleep during the meditation and donâ€™t remember a ton of it! But we pulled crystal tarot cards first, and then we laid down and a crystal was placed on our foreheads. We meditated on the chakras and their colorsâ€¦and thatâ€™s about all I can tell you. Whatever happened, I felt very much at peace after, and thatâ€™s all I was really looking for, so…
Iâ€™d gone there last summer and had a really emotional and spiritual experience and felt really connected with my momâ€™s spirit, so it was really important to me to return. Anyone know of a similar place in NYC? Mndfl (but sorry, buy a vowel?) and Inscape are great, but Iâ€™m looking for a meditation experience thatâ€™s a bit more spiritual.
And then I went hiking with Amy, and we had an amazing discussion about life, career, etc.
To be really honest, Iâ€™m not crazy about my body/appearance right now, but I was at peace and feelinâ€™ myself on this particular day.
And then I did feel better the next morning, and went for a run to Venice and back and felt SO SO HAPPY.
Definitely have a new appreciation for street art after the tour I went on in Bogota!
OK people â€” tell me yourÂ fave places in LA.