Sometimes a bit of time to reflect is a good thing.

I usually write posts about events pretty soon after they happen. As a former journalist, old habits die hard, and part of the fun of blogging is to be able to post something immediately after it happens.

But sometimes a little space to process something helps, too.

Yesterday, I started writing about my run, and I wrote maybe one of the whiniest posts I’d ever written.

My blog was down for a bit, and so I had to save the post without posting it. I remembered I had to get that Barilla post up last night, and I switched to that.

I have been so negative and so hard on myself lately, but I’m reading Gretchen Rubin’s new book right now (I met her a few years ago!) and working again at being mindful to cultivate a positive-yet-realistic (I mean, life isn’t ALL puppies and sunshine) environment for myself.

I was really annoyed at myself for missing a run on Saturday–even though I barely moved all day, I was so exhausted and now I’m sick–and then I logged into my TrainingPeaks account last night and saw this in the description of tomorrow’s workout.

Oh, Training Peaks. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in running knowledge.

So, back to yesterday. 15 miles on the docket. Skipped an 8-miler Saturday and was determined to make this run wonderful.

Ashley told me about the NY Flyers 3-Bridges Run. It was an organized group long run with pacers and rest stops for $10.

I met up with her husband, Bo, and we took off to JackRabbit to join the 9:30 pace group.

[via Ashley]

My Garmin seemed to find satellites right away, but as we ran west into Central Park, I looked down and it told me I was doing a 19:00 mile, which obviously wasn’t right. Around .82 and nearly 11 minutes in, I hit the lap button and realized just how fast our pacer was going. Every time I looked, he was going far closer to a 9:00 mile.

When we tried to tell him he wasn’t pacing at the pace we’d signed up for, he told us our watches were wrong. All of them? We stopped at a water stop about 7 miles in, at Chambers Street, and most of the pace group kept going. I was pissed–at him for running faster than 9:30, at myself for trying so hard to keep up with him and his 9:00 miles. He finally left, and we started running closer to an actual 9:30. As we ran over the bridge, whatever mile I hit there finally showed up as 9:30 for me.

We continued into Brooklyn and on part of the marathon course. Part of our route was somewhat unfamiliar to me, but running past the Navy Yard reminded me of a run through Brooklyn I did two years ago. We continued on and ended up on part of the NYC Marathon course, and it brought back all kinds of happy memories: of the race and of a long run through there last year.

It wasn’t quite the good long, slow distance run I was looking for yesterday, but considering I haven’t gotten many marathon goal pace runs in, I’ll just call it 15 miles with quite a few at marathon goal pace. Either way, it gave me more confidence that I can run at a faster speed for a long time.

I cut out at 15 while most of the rest of the group did 20. I took the subway back with two other runners who only had 15 to run. One guy said he was also aiming for 4 hours. Either we’re both delusional, or I’m on track. It felt so damn good to stop at 15.

But I have 22 miles on deck for this weekend. AND THEN I TAPER.

How are you feeling about your training right now? If you’re a marathoner, do you usually max out at 20 or 22? For my first two, I maxed out at 20, but my plan is calling for 22 this year…