In yoga the other night, the instructor said something to us about just letting go and letting go of our New Yorker tendencies to keep butting our heads against the wall until we can make things the way we want them.
I smiled and nodded my head, and understood what he was saying, but it took a day or two to really process his words and let them set in.
I looked in the mirror this morning and saw the lines on my forehead and under my eyes that I’ve noticed a bit more since hitting the big 3-0 last month. I’ve furrowed my brow at them as I slather on moisturizer, but this morning was different. I saw them and thought, “you know what? I’m not 22. It’s okay.”
As women, we have the tendency to focus on what’s not right in our lives. On what we can fix. We see these tendencies or issues as glaring imperfections in our lives, but often we’re the only ones who do.
And at the ripe old age of 30, I’ve realized that there’s really only a few people whose opinions I really care about, and people actually generally think more highly of you than you’d expect.
I’ve definitely struggled with keeping emotions bottled up and putting on a happy face, but my therapist has helped me realize how this causes things to snowball…and how that ended in panic attacks for me.
So for today, I accept myself for who I am and embrace what I like about myself and move to grow in the other areas.