In my 33 years on this planet, I’ve learned a few things, mostly the hard way.
Nothing worth earning is easy, right?
But if there’s two things I’ve learned that have shifted my mindset massively, it’s these two things:
1. Treat yourself the way you would a treasured friend.
Would you tell your friend she was fat, not good at her job, not a fast enough runner, etc? NO, right? So why would you tell yourself those kind of things? Lately, when I’ve found myself being hard on myself, as I’m wont to do, I ask myself: what would you tell a friend? I try to be the kind of friend I would like to have, so I’d never say to a friend some of the things I’m thinking when I’m being hard on myself.
2. Â Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
Especially living in NYC, there will always be someone thinner, more successful, etc. etc. etc. Even now, writing this post, I found myself wandering off into Facebook-land and ogling someone’s house they’d just bought. Do I want that for myself one day? Absolutely. Does comparing myself EVER make me happier or get me any closer to MY goals? NOPE. Speaking of goals, I’m not the rest-on-my-laurels type, but it’s an amazing feeling to have worked my ass for the past 2.5 years at my job and have that recognized in a promotion. But once I started realizing comparing myself to others did nothing for me, it became so much easier to accept others’ successes (and perceived successes, because, Instagram effect) for what they were and just do me.
Mindset tweaks that altered your outlook?
Preach. For real. All day. Rose. thanks for the reminder!
i love the simplicity of the wisdom in this post. both of these are great, and i use the second point with my clients regularly. i think we could all use to tell ourselves this every day — it’s such a necessary life mantra! i know i need it. thanks, lady.
@Shawna: None of these insights came from someone I pay to give me insight on my life 😉
Both points are so true. I never really thought about the first one; however as I give it more thought in amazed how mean I am to myself. This post is simple and perfectly put.
Thank you for writing such an honest and thought provoking post.
Thank you for this. I have been running alone lately since I’m way slower than my friends. I’ve turned down offers to run with the girls since I stress over how slow I am — to the point they have stopped asking. They don’t care how slow I am, and now I’m missing out on all the fun.
so very true. and sometimes easier said then done. thanks for the reminder.
Such great things to recognize and become at peace with. I think the comparison thing is especially key for me too!
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True and true!
Something i remind myself of a lot is I will never control what other people think of me. I used to find it very easy to fret over what someone thought about what I said/what I did/how I look/etc etc etc ad nauseum. Once I realized what they think is outside anything I can control, I saved a lot of fretting! Yeah for more positive space in my head!
I talk about this exact quote in episode 4 of my own podcast! It is true, when I compare myself to others, happiness is impossible to find. Great tips here. Thanks!
#1 has always been hard for me. Still is. I’ve been notoriously hard on myself my entire life! I don’t even know why, either, and it’s so hard to change.