I was going to write a different post tonight, about how it’s not about the scale.

(But that’s nothing new. Most of us know this cognitively even if we have a hard time grasping it emotionally sometimes.)

But just in case…here’s a visual of what 150 pounds looks like on different women.

We’re all our worst critics though, right? I saw a preview of earlier this week of what my mom and I taped and, quite honestly, was really unhappy with my appearance. I’ll write more about that once the clip comes out, but it’s certainly been a learning experience in self-acceptance.

But what I want to talk about: I’ve mentioned that we have an amazing community at work. The people who use our product are real people who are affected by what we do every day and they’ve achieved amazing results and forged a beautiful community all around what, on the outside, appears to be just another subscription streaming fitness service. (I mean, we pioneered streaming fitness but whatever…)

We have a really active Facebook group, and yesterday one woman posted about her struggles with having gained weight. She posted her previous stats and her current stats, but she also posted a video of her doing a badass move.

All I — and everyone else — saw was her strong body, and I commented as such, and shared that I’d felt as she did too, and I understood where she was, but, for whatever it was worth, I thought she looked awesome.

Maybe I look as strong as she does, maybe I don’t — but that’s not what it’s about.

It was a valuable lesson to me in learning to see, maybe, what others saw, and celebrating the cans and strengths instead of the cannots and the weaknesses. Celebrating where I am right now, not where I was.

I saw this on a silly church sign last year, and it stuck with me. I’ve had some amazing friends and some real shitty ones. I’ve wanted things out of friends they couldn’t/weren’t prepared to offer. All I can do is be the friend that I’d like to have — or the person I’d like to have in my corner.

So much of self-compassion is also about treating yourself the way you’d treat a valued friend, and I realized as I tried to provide kind words to this woman, it was also exactly how I’d want a friend to treat me.

What have you seen in others that awakens an a-ha moment within yourself?